FuDdY
JaSmi BrO
MoNeNu
mee...
Saki-bAki..hehe
NisA
FeeZ
fAdZiLLy
FahMs
ELIAs.. haha
ThE snAiL aZmI
SarsUrA
Nancy Ajrams's Lyrics
Lyrics...lala..
Archives
July 2005'August 2005'September 2005'October 2005'November 2005'December 2005'January 2006'February 2006'
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
Jammin at
5:59 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
there are many hypocritical people living in singapore let alone in the east... *only fuad and far would noe the story behind this...*
anyways...... ive been hearin from thousands of teachers who wont stop admiring iskhandar bin abdul talib's prelims performance... it was mostly As and Bs!!... i mean seriously.. how does he do it all? how does he manage being perfect at everything... why cant i be like him???? hes got future-rockstar talents, a smarty pants, charm, hes creative, hes like the whole package, noe wat i mean?? but like topping everything he does.... mannn.. is he human?? im sooo jealous of him.. extremely way-beyond-mars jealous...!!! ive never felt tihs way before.. im so jealous to the extent that the deelin of jealously exploded in me shattering just its lil pieces of jealousy all over me...... its like the green-eyed monster being coloned over and over again... wtf!!!!
so yea.. why cant i be like him??????????????????????
so its now like..*i wanna die* x 2 ..... i wonder how long it would take for u guys to forget me once i die... erm... days? hrs? min? secs?....... i wonder if u guys would even notice im dead.. haha.... k...
****DYING ROCKS!!!****
p/s.. me and radu are friends!!!! hhahaha...
9:57 PM
Saturday, September 24, 2005
haiz... i feel so ... i dont noe... like somethin just aint right... i feel so.... hollow.. like a dark well without its water...... wats missing? wats not there? everything seems fine now.. but wat is it that im not full heartedly unsatisfied with? i dont noe... im hoping someone out there would....
fuad....ur emptiness.. is it still there? or is it gone with the winds? if it is gone, help me get through this......
blow me far away....... wats the point of living a life im just faking? the fake smiles.. the fake laughs.. the fake strength.. the fake 'im fine'.. the fake words of 'somethings in my eye'... the fake happiness... the fake calmness...... the fake hatred.... the fake 'distractions'... the fake friendships....
no one wouldve guessed my life now is a lie...
song of the day:
There's something about the way you looked at me
Think for a moment,
That maybe we were meant to be
Living life seperately
Ain't it strange how things change
And now they wanted, you so desperately
Oh, I cannot ignore it
I could give it in, but I should know better
There's something about the way you looked at me
Ain't it strange how things change
And now they wanted, you so desperately
Yeah you looked and
You said you frustrate me
Like thinking of lines,
In times when you and I were you and me
Took a chance out on the street
May have missed my chance
And chances are you won't be coming back for me
Why can't I ignore it
I could have given in, but I should know better
Cause there's something about the way you looked at me
Ain't it strange how things change
But now they're wanting you so desperately
So desperately
Why can't I ignore it
I could have given in, but I should know better
Cause there's something about the way you looked at me
Ain't it strange that things change
But now they're wanting you so desperately
So desperately
I keep giving in, when I should know better
I keep giving in, when I should know better
So desperately
I want so desperately
bye.. sigh... another day.. another life... another me.........
9:43 PM
Friday, September 23, 2005
Time always kills the pain
thats something i learnt
love is just a crazy game
that leaves you crushed and burnt
late night cries
and all the fake smiles
forever dripping tears
are the work of the devil
like a sun shone
but like the rain
u were gone
so simple and fast
i thought we would last
but the best is to stay this way
no matter if it kills me inside
you still never fail to brighten my day
im happy as long as ure alrite.....
ure now with ur dream girl
ure all happy and still shine
but i still ponder abt the dyas left
when i can call u mine..
wtf am i thinking... hahaha................ good nite!!!!!!! btw..... im addicted to coke so yea...when u wanna see me, make sure uve got coke in ur hands... hahaha... bye!! crazy crazy me
10:03 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2005
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
all i keep saying/singing is...
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
*you cant always get wat u want by the rockin The Rolling Stones*
sigh.
9:34 PM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
YEAH BABY!!!!!
J.D FORTUNE WON ROCKSTAR INXS!!! HES THE NEXT NEW LEAD SINGER.... HOTTTTTTTTTTTT........ AND WOOOHOOOO, ALTHO I WANTED MIG TO WIN BUT I LOVE JD TOO... HATE MARTY... HAHA.. GO JD!!!! YYEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHAAAA!!!!!
10:07 PM
so yeah.... days fly by so fast..... i think.. ahahaa
omg.. today i was really fuckedddd up for like 5hrs+.. azmi and sharin were like soooooo niceeee... omg..thanks guys.. ahaha.. i met new ppl today, faris and izuan? is that how u spell their names? ...
i only began smiling at 5+pm.. after i drank a whole cup of barley (ewww) really quickly... i won the race on who could finish their 1/2 cups of barley after drinkin a whole cup.. thus 1 and 1/2 cups of barley (eww) is in my tummy.. underwater world man!! i think ill be peeing for the rest of the day....haha...
life still sucks like crap but im trynna open my eyes to positiveness... kindda actually.. i miss laughing and smiling like how i used too.. i was listenin to this song and it reminded me of.. well... b**.............. only a few parts actually.. the bold ones.. i dunno why but it doesSsS!!! haiz.. depressing again.. grr...
*****I AINT SEEN THE SUN SHINING IN THREE DAMN DAYS!!!*****Since you've been gone my world's been dark and grey*****You reminded me of brighter days*****Can't seem to get you off my mind,I can't understand why we're living life this way*****
here it is anyways...
picture by kid rock and sheryl crow:
(kid rock)
Living my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sun shining in three damn days
Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Oh I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
(Hook)2x
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you
While I'm lying next to her
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
[sheryl crow]
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right
I've been waiting on you for a long time
Filling up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
(Hook)2x
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him
I saw you yesterday with an old friend
(Kid Rock)
It was the same old same how have you been
(Both)
Since you've been gone my world's been dark and grey
(Kid Rock)
You reminded me of brighter days
(Sheryl)
I hoped you were coming home to stay
I was headed to church
(Kid Rock)
I was off to drink you away
(Both)
I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you
To come back home
I just called to say I love you
Come back home
lalalalalalalalalalalaladepressed-melalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalalala bye
8:10 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
forgot to write this in....
i felt so strong when b** came in... so strong.. i felt like i stood up.. after all the falls i had.... and then ppl just take that away from me.. making me so weak.......... making me fall again.... i liked b** but i guess its all over noow.... lifes a misery.... haiz.. miss u....
once again..... why doesnt anyone want me to be happy
9:50 AM
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
my head is spinning.. my heart is all bruised and sore.. everything has crashed and burned...im in an abyss.. im in misery.... someone out there.. help me...
haiz... why doesnt anyone want me to be happy? everytime i find happiness, its only temporary.... i mean my last entry, i was happy.. i needed that happiness, and i got it from someone..... I felt strong again when that person came into my life.. and thats wat i needed and wanted.... But then my past interfered and my future blew up in my face....... people like joe and is keep ruining all the possibilities of me being happy.. wat do u 2 want from me.. i let u be happy.. why cant u do the same to me?
is, i wanted u to be happy,thats why i walked away... cuz ud be happier with 'her' and ur friends, rather than just me...
joe, i wanted u to be happy, thats why i still remained to be ur friend...but i dun understand u.... why cant u ever be just happy for me? ure always showing such an attitude and thats why i lost someone important..
to everyone out there whos stepping all over me... just stop it..get lost...
my prelims are going down the drain...haiz... im gonna disappoint everyone........haiz........
haiz..ppl ruin my happiness... i ruined it too cuz i was so angry...and upset.. and hurt.. and devastated
im so sorrrry b**..i didnt mean to say wat i said... haiz...
i just wanna die now..
god rest my soul.....
16 June 1988 to 18 September 2005
((thats gonna be written on my tombstone))
9:42 AM
Friday, September 16, 2005
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
btw, a lil shout out to those who helped me through it all..
such as...:
-jas and his advises and of course his love
-fuddy and his wiseness and of course his love as well..
((thanks for lettin me noe that im loved (to my both bros).. its cuz of ppl like u who manage to make me smile til my lips and cheeks begin aching))
pzyko and his ure-not-alone-but-i-shall-be-there-for-ya-ness..
-my best friends,lis sak far, for helping me get out of this misery as well..
hmm.. anyone else i 'forgotten'? holla back and ill make a special thanks to u..
I LOVE U ALL....i still hate life, but i love the ppl who are in my life.. muackz to all!
10:42 PM
im watching figure it out.. haha...
anyways, tomorrows mooncake festival in broadrick.. feel free to come.. 6.30pm to 9pm.. i wont be there though.. dun wanna ruin it for joe.. so yea.....
anyways, lifes been taking its toll on everyone lately... i just found out that only one in a million smiles are actually from their hearts.. others smile to hide their sorrows.. i used to smile from my heart..all the time... now its just fake smiles to not show my misery...
its not abt 'him' anymore.. mdm swee (my mummy) helped me thro it.. she made me realise that ppl who decide to hate me isnt worth my friendship......
however one thing makes me wonder,altho i threw that problem away... just pondering..why is it that u,h****, are the one hating me, and gettin everyone to do the same, when ure the one who caused everything......... arent i supposed to be the one hating u?
nevertheless, ive kindda got some latest news thingy, and i shall message my bro.. fuddy abt it......btw hi!!.. haha........... well, people come and go.. apparently, friends do... so i aint gonna be trippin over this.. im a strong gal..i mean yea i decided to back out of the "war" cuz i happened to respect ppl and willin to sacrifice...but i shant worry abt whos gonna be a true friend and who isnt anymore.. its very obvious.. ppl like fuddy,jas, lis, sak , far and the rest of u guys noe hu u r... u ppl are the world to me and i noe ill never lose u guys....
i noe its hard to understand wat im writin but oh well.. im just weird i guess.. and not thinkin straight.. well.. gtg... cya!.. take care y'all.. if i can make it thro this nightmare, i have faith in everyone else to be able to get through anything...!......
10:32 PM
Thursday, September 15, 2005
haiz.. i cried in skool today after reading a blog and an email... haiz.. i wannna diee.. i doo........ i dun care abt life.. its just smth stupid!!!!
2:36 PM
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
im in skool rite now........ im so pissed off that HE didnt email me back.. i died while writin the damn eamil.. at least reply.... arghh!!!!! i need a guy... i want... ;)!!!!! hahaahahahah
4:01 PM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
haiz... this sucks... my prelims start tomorrow, and i cant stop thinkin and 'drawin' stuff abt... u noe who..... god this is killin me... i went online for one reason only.. to see if he replied my email... he didnt.. i dunno if he read it... all i noe is that, when i came online, my heart began pumping like never before... haiz... i cant have these feelings... i mean if i do.. ill never be able to let go of him.. rite? haiz...... gotta tell myself we were never meant to be.......... love is just a game.. a game of misery.... a game of happiness.. it all depands on ur luck.......... obviously, i ended up crashing and burning on this one..........
i was listenin to songs the whole nite last nite... couldnt sleep.. haiz.... i came across songs.. with these lyrics.. lyrics that just made me cry moreeee...:
burning my dreams -> from everything burns (ben moody and anastasia)
... We thought our love could overcome the circumstances
....So for every little thing you hold on to, you've got to let something else go.. --> shoulda woulda coulda (beverly knight)
ESPECIALLY THIS ONE:
david bedingfield -> if ure not the one
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife? (actually hubby)
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘ Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
lastly, Backstreet boys with.. lose it all...:
Oh no
Take what you need
'cause I can't hold my breath
Say what you feel 'cause
I got nothing left, oh
I made a promise to myself last night
I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right
And if I lose it all
There'll be nothing left to lose and
I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there breathing
It's so wonderful, it's a chance I take
even if I break it
I lose it all, if I lose it all
Wouldn't matter anyway
Don't change a thing, perfect as you are
Time has a way, time is all I've got
If my heart should shatter watching you
That'd be one less thing I'd have to prove
And if I lose it allThere'll be nothing left to lose and
I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there breathing
It's so wonderful,
it's a chance I take even if I break it
I lose it all, if I lose it all
Will be waiting when I fall into your open arms
I believe you'll find me there
You'll find me there
And if I lose it all
There'll be nothing left to lose and
I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there breathing
It's so wonderful, it's a chance I take even if I break it
I lose it all, if I lose it all
And if I lose it all
There'll be nothing left to lose and
I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there breathing
It's so wonderful, it's a chance I take even if I break it
I lose it all, if I lose it allWouldn't matter anyway
yes, ive turned all lovey dovey sappy wappy.. but wat else is a love-depressed gal supposed to do?
btw, good luck everyone in ur prelims tomorrow... kick ass man..! and to all the peeps out there remembering all lost on 9/11... stop listenin to sappy songs, itll just make u cry more....btw, it also goes out to all heartbrokee's......
5:35 PM
Saturday, September 10, 2005
today, im gonna do the most stupidest thing in the world.. i dunno if ill ever forgive myself for it..... but i guess i have to do it... i have to lie... i dun have a choice.......... i hope *u* understand.... i dun wanna do it.. but i have to.... haiz.. i hate myself now...!!!!!! please dont hate me...... and please find it in u to forgive some day....
**singing novemeber rain every single moment.........**
pay special attention to higlighted thingys
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you (u noe who u r
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
10:24 PM
Friday, September 09, 2005
the lyrics on my blog says it all.............
im going through hell now cuz someone, whom i thot was a friend of mine, decided to ruin my everything......... i hope u ppl are happy now...
9:01 PM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
i hate studying..... fuck it too
and lastly.. i hate smilin.. its just a freakin mask to hide everything thats happenin inside.....fuck smiling.. plus.. it just tires u out anyways......
10:40 AM
i hate life... fuck it...
10:35 AM
how many times must i say this..
i hate love...screw love! ARGHH!!
why must loving someone be so freaking hard?? why is it everytime you must push me away?? everytime everything seems so freakin perfect, u must come up with stuff tellin me its not gonna work... u made me fall for u... ure makin it hard...u asked me to wait... look at me.. im waiting.....ure givin up.. wat am i to do now?? u keep welling up in self-pity and keep having no confidence in us.. it doesnt work that way..it doesnt.. why cant u just make everything nice and smooth....u can.. but u dun want to... u wanna love me, but yet u dun want to.... might as well end it.......... rite?
*ignore wat im saying (esp *u* ..) im just really upset*
10:28 AM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
yesterday, sept 2nd, was faridahs birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFREN! in skool.. the guys were allllll over her!!!!!!! unfair but i had my share too!! haha *bob*! hahaha
anyways,we decided to go to my place, and spontaneously decided to secretly bake a cake for her.. so mona and lisa went to get the stuff by cab, while me sak and far took a bus to my place.. mona and lis came up with a cute out-of-the-world story to why they reached my place half an hr later than we did.. haha... it was so funny.. they said the cab driver took them all the way to pasir ris.. hahhah.... while they were gone tho, i introduced my 2 goldfish and my ugly looking weird tortise thingy which i love so deary.. i swear its so weird.. ive never seen an animal like him before!!
when the 2 'lost' girls finally came home, they began mixing and stuff.. then mona came running to me beggin me for help cuz they didnt noe wat they were doing.. so yea.. i helped.. haha.. lisa came in to help too.. she switched on the cake mixer and wwhhaam!! it splashed all over her! it was hilarious!!!! hahahaha....
the cake was all baked up.. and i decided to melt chocolate from my hugggeeeeeee bar of chocolate.. and topped the cake.. my mum was out actually, but then came back home.. and she helped make the cake look better by adding a 'F' on it with caster sugar.. yes it looked weird, but it was superrr cute.. haha.. ill show it to ya another time when ive got more time.. thanks mum anyways!..
so yea...we brought the cake to my room.. and sang our butts out for her.. haha.. we love ya girl..... hope u had a great day yesterday!! haha...
anyways, a lil shout out to my brothers.. miss ya guys like hell altho ive seen u just a few days ago! love y'all to bits! muacks!
11:03 AM
Thursday, September 01, 2005
omg ty got out of rockstar inxs?!?! omgggggg.. thats sooooo not rightttt!!! argghh!!! how can they do thattt.. omg... hes like the sweetest thing and yet sooo talented!! and hes black too!!! my dream man....... haha... back to sad mood.. haiiz... hes sheddin a tear.. and jd just kissed him... awww... omg i feel like huggin him.. hes startin to cry.. im startin to cry.... my poor baby ty...........haiz...
anyways, i was lil bummed today..... i mean theres a lil hole in my heart which burns every time i think of someone with someone else... i dunno wat to think.. i dunno who's right for u.. i mean i know whos perfect for u and its not me, but i want it to be me.. but its not.. haiz.. ill just end here.......... good nite...
9:57 PM
rastaliciousnessifyinglycated
i woke up at 12+... such a pig.. haha... i had an amazingggg dream.... and then when i went online to check my email.. mann... the dream just burnt up into ashessss......... ahhh... i hate love.......... screw love... loves a piece of junk which brings temporary happiness... and then hurts u like hell........... I HATE LOVE!!!!!
1:31 PM
